The fanicure: It’s a manicure, but for fans. Get it? I know you do. With a fanicure, you (or a professional with an extremely steady hand) paint your nails in a way that represents your favorite team. I am very pro-fanicure, mainly because I am anti-face painting and too-tight team crop tops. I don’t have the lady tubes to pull off face paint. As for crop tops…. No. We’re here to watch the game. You don’t need to have all of the attention all of the time, honey. Also, this, too, is not an option for me after two kids and many cheesecakes.

Fanicures, however, I can do. It’s cute, it’s fun, and most of the time it’s not crazy. But I have three pieces of advice for those of you who are ready to get lacquered up before the game.


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GO SIMPLE, AND GO HOME
Alternating nails with your team’s colors is an easy way to show your spirit without requiring anything more than a quick trip to the makeup aisle at Walgreens. Do not, I repeat, do not pay $60 for a nail salon to paint your nails with simple, glittery polish. You don’t have money to burn, woman! You’ve got hot dogs and beers to buy!


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FOR ADVANCED MANEUVERS, GO TO A PRO
That said, if you’re going to go all out, then go all out. Let’s not screw around and decide on game day that we can totally draw a horse head on our own ring finger. That’s when you end up with something orange and white with what might be an eye in the middle.

“What is that, a fish egg?”

“No, it’s Thunder. From the Broncos? It’s a horse.”

“…Oh yeah…”

It’s a bad look.

Those intricately designed nails are awesome, but the first step to a great fanicure is knowing when to ask for help. Don’t be ashamed. Think of your team.


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DON’T LOSE YOUR MIND TO TEAM SPIRIT
The goal here is to show team spirit, not to raise questions about your mental health. Let’s leave the nails 2-D. There is a line that should not be crossed, even when it comes to nail art. Tread that line carefully.

Also, you might want to keep your nails to a reasonable length. Something about the long fanicure makes people nervous, myself included. That said, this is a very effective way to give the opposing bench the finger and get noticed.

Lastly, please keep your nails nail-shaped. When using fake nails, I encourage you to buy the kind shaped like actual nails. Do not be the superfan who cannot open a door. Who will need assistance using the restroom. Don’t be the gal who has to ask her friend, “Shelly, can you just unbutton and unzip my jeans? I can do the rest. But stay close; I’ll need you again when I come out. Go team!”

So get creative, get on Pinterest, and hey, why not: Get a fanicure. I might do a little blue and green myself for the Seahawks game I’m going to in October! But don’t expect any hawk eyes or jersey numbers on my nails—I know when I’m out of my league.


MEREDITH BLAND is a writer living in Seattle (check her out at pileofbabies.com). She loves writing the funny, sleeping, and all things Seahawks.

Images courtesy of SheKnows.com and Pinterest (bottom row).